ChaoticBrain's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Epic Battle Fantasy 3]

Well, time to play all over again.

I enjoyed this thoroughly on (name of website removed), so it's great to see it finally arrive on Newgrounds. And an updated version to boot! Of course, the real kicker is that you made a medal for every achievement. This time, I'm going for Hard Mode.

Oh, and before other people start making complaints about the difficulty:

* Take advantage of the feature to swap turns; Make sure to heal and cast buffs/debuffs before letting your party attack.
* Heal, Healmore, and Regen cure the Freeze status.
* Syphon will deal with many of those pesky spellcasters; made especially effective with Lance's Steel Shark and Ark Angel.
* Do not upgrade your spells too quickly, or you'll make them too expensive to use.
* Limit Breaks are only usable when the red bar fills up. Save them for bosses or really hard enemies that block your path.
* Natalie's Kyun Limit Break is by far the most useful, especially when used right before Matt and Lance perform their Limit Breaks.
* To get the Pervert achievement, you must click Nat's breasts 10 times, but let the animation complete each time or it won't register.
* To solve the Kitty Ruins large door puzzle, you must find four red orbs in other parts of the ruins and bring them back to the four empty pedestals. To pick up an orb, press space.

[Turtlodyssey]

I found the secret medal.

I am not going to tell you, though. I will make you figure it out for yourself. I am so devious. I am not planting any clues in this review at all. I promise you that there are no clues. I warn you that it is futile to search. I suggest you give up now. I.

Okay, enough of that.

My verdict: A fun game with cute graphics, but way too short to play more than twice.

[Colorful Sky]

The game sports some major flaws.

First off, the color scheme is terrible. The green stripe in the rainbow is an ugly shade of puke and looks very similar to yellow. Both the yellow and green stripes also blend into the background, making it more difficult than it needs to be to tell if a sun has that color or not.

Second, while the game penalizes making bad moves, it does nothing to stop the player from passing up good moves. That's to say, it's much easier to play with only one sun, and just wait for unique colors, instead of managing four suns at once. Despite playing with one sun being a massively broken strategy (easy to manage, easy to score) the game does nothing to discourage it. Literally, the only obstacle to getting a high score is the player's patience. That does not a good game make.

Probably the only semi-good thing about this game is the choice in music. Otherwise, the concept is fundamentally flawed, and needs a complete overhaul to even stand a chance of being good.

[Eclipse.]

Scoring glitch.

For some odd reason, the score that shows up on the level select is sometimes different from the one shown at the end of the level. It's happened twice to me so far: In level 7, the results said "A", but the level select showed "A+". Not a big deal, I figured, but in level 9, it said I got a "B" (even though I had 10, exactly par for that level, which usually gives me an "A"), and when I went to the level select, it said "A+". So apparently, if there's an error, it automatically defaults to "A+". It's nice that it does that, but I fear people can just glitch their way to total victory.

On the game itself, I thought it was fairly interesting, but when not going for the par score, there's not much of a challenge at all. Once you blacken tiles, they stay that way, which is a bit odd, since I thought I was casting shadows on the planet, not sucking the light out of it.

I really enjoy the concept behind the game, though. I would like to see future games from you incorporate terrestrial manipulation in the theme.

pepperpunk responds:

I had a look, and the error appears to be on the "results" screen at the end of the level on levels 6-9, the grades on the level select scores are the accurate ones.

So when you got 10 for your score, and the par was 10, you earned that A+, it was just the B on the end screen that was wrong. :)

[Theia]

I cannot understate how bad the controls are.

This is an excellent concept. It truly is. And it has so much going for it, from the creative character designs to the luscious graphics and beautiful music. BUT, all of that is undermined by some of the sloppiest controls and frustratingly bad hit detection ever to appear in a flash game. North-South movement is far too slow compared to east-west movement, even considering that it's not a true top-down view. Movable boulders won't budge unless you're right in the center. Bubbas (those big orange guys) can kill you even when you're standing just north of where their hands hit. And Level 9 was certainly a nightmare to get through, considering that it is extremely likely that you'll get caught on the edge of a crystal even when your path is approximately 95% unblocked.

And all of this especially saddens me because this looks like it could have been an incredible game, but all of these glitches compound until all the fun is sucked out of it. If you decide to make a sequel to this game, you must, you ABSOLUTELY MUST, fix these problems.

[Rosie Likes Popsicles]

Pretty fun.

My only suggestion would be to introduce some sort of health system, instead of ending the game at one hit. I think a good system would be to make every piece of garbage slow down the speed at which Rosie follows the cursor, making it harder to dodge other garbage, but also wearing off after a set amount of time, probably 15-30 seconds. Getting weighed down by three pieces of garbage would end the game.

Also, I found a glitch. On the main menu, if you click on "About", and then go back to the main screen, the "Play" and "About" buttons don't work.

K-Guare responds:

Thanks for the suggestion,
and the about button problem only occurs on Newgrounds,
I'm not sure why. I'm currently looking for a solution.

[Zombie Sports: Football]

Can't pass level 2 due to missing controls.

"Drag the arrows to change the path of the head."

Um... WHAT ARROWS? I see no arrows of which you speak. Are they invisible, or have they simply not been programmed in?

[Mission To Pluto]

So... much... waiting...

This is a horribly paced game. Questions are about a minute-and-a-half apart, and during that time, you have absolutely nothing to do but watch the rare 2D graphic of a planet zip by. There's literally nothing to do 95% of the time. Even more damning, you can't just play it like an idle game, because not answering in a timely fashion means you get less of a speed boost and waste precious oxygen.

And why the hell do you start at the sun when you begin? Last time I checked, spaceships launched from Earth.

[Jimbo]

Confusing and unfun.

There's no indication of how holding the spacebar down changes the way my fruit is thrown, so it's trial and error to get it right. And then, it turns out that apparently it's impossible to win even if you hit him in the head... at least, until you choose the pumpkin. But the goal you're given is vague ("get him off the stage"), the only way to do it is never alluded to ("kill him"), and the interface is so crappy, you can't tell if you're getting closer or farther from your goal.

P.S. The last person I know of to misspell tomato was Dan Quayle.

[Getting Screwed Over!]

Democracy at work here, folks.

I like how so many people are rating this so poorly because it was labeled as a game. Even if that had anything to do with the actual content, slideshows do in fact belong under the "Game" category, because it contains some tangible degree of interactivity.
Those who aren't downvoting for that technicality are doing so because they find the content objectionable. This despite the fact that the flash is rated "M", and the content is perfectly acceptable for that rating.

Now, that said, I'm still giving this a 5, because while some of the art was kind of interesting and humorous, it wasn't particularly memorable, and very few pictures featured any sort of real polish.